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Good to See John Clark and Some TV Buddies Having Fun at his Bachelor Party
By Matt Schultz
Published:
If you don’t follow John Clark on Instagram (the hell you doing? Follow the man!), you might’ve missed that he just had his bachelor party. I gotta say, this post was a real nice post. As I was swiping through the photo carousel, I realized I was smiling ear to ear. This is what it’s all about! Look at this crew! –
That’s Jeff Skversky and Keith Jones in there, not the Flyers’ President, “Jonesy,” but the NBC 10 anchor. Tom Winter from NBC investigations is part of the group, and former Villanova Wildcat Kevin Rafferty, too.
Thinking about what led to this moment truly filled me with joy. Johnny and all 19 identical fellas (spanning from ages 24 to 56) hopping on an Amtrak Acela (they booked an entire car), rolling their suitcases filled only with identical button-up shirts to Times Square, neatly piling the suitcases off to the side so they wouldn’t be in the picture, and posing for this wonderful photo. Look at all those logos behind them! Those beautiful logos and ads in bright lights! But the party didn’t stop there: All 26 guys who each look exactly like John Clark but are slightly different heights were only just getting started.
It’s not a NYC bachelor party unless you see Jim Gaffigan with 34 of your closest buddies:
“Give us the longest table you have. If you don’t have a tablecloth long enough, we can use two and have them connect in the middle, then put a candle there to pin it down. Pinning down the cloths is no problem for us.”
It’s not a night out in NYC without a photo of the skyline! It’s not the clearest photo, sure. Looks like John didn’t click down on the screen to focus that yellow box over the buildings or anything. But that’s okay! The idea comes across just the same. Looking at this photo there can be no doubt: This is New York!
Gotta throw John’s picture up on the TVs at the club! My only problem with this picture is that I wish everyone would stop dancing and turn to look at the TVs. What are they doing? Cut the music! It’s John!
There’s no way to know for sure, but I think this is a photo of Jim Gaffigan. (Remember, we saw on the second photo that these 38 fellas went to – or at the very least, were near – a Jim Gaffigan show). My guess here is that John was probably shaking while laughing so hard at Gaffigan, and that’s why this photo is also blurry. Which is fine! At his bachelor party, I don’t want John focused on something as boring as clicking down on the screen so that yellow box allows the camera lens to focus. I want John belly-laughing at Jim Gaffigan! Or whichever pale comedian or public speaker this may be!
Finally, to cap off the trip, here we have someone bobbing up and down with a sign saying “I can’t believe she said yes.” I can! John rules! I genuinely mean this! Super nice guy, excellent at his job, and he somehow hasn’t aged in 30 years!
In summary, a big heartfelt congrats to John and his bride-to-be. It’s nice to see him out there having fun, he deserves it. And shoutout to John’s 53 identical buddies that helped him make his bachelor party a great time.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)